After my last boyfriend in the beginning of graduate school, I decided not to date anymore, and didn't necessarily have a time frame in mind as to when I'd date again. I essentially just stopped trying to date altogether. It was a very, very lonely three years until I found my now-husband. I remember having to cocoon myself with my bedsheets at night because I felt so alone and needed to mock a "cuddle". But, I worked very, very hard on myself for those three years. I continued through graduate school, landed a full time job, worked overtime to impress my boss who gave me an early raise and eventual promotion, lost 50 pounds, and committed to my "spiritual" lifestyle (albeit relatively atheist at the time... It's quite popular for vegans to identify as such). I eventually met my husband at a bar where I was having an after work drink with my best friend, and we immediately connected over our shared interests and vegan lifestyles. Since then, he's helped me reconnect with my traditional values and open my eyes to how worthy I am outside of what I can accomplish (which I grew an unhealthy emotional attachment to after using it to preoccupy myself with loneliness for the previous three years). Thank you for this post, Abby! It was very relatable.
What’s helped me is to lean on family friendships and community to feel less lonely in singleness.
This would have been helpful to tell me years ago hahaha
After my last boyfriend in the beginning of graduate school, I decided not to date anymore, and didn't necessarily have a time frame in mind as to when I'd date again. I essentially just stopped trying to date altogether. It was a very, very lonely three years until I found my now-husband. I remember having to cocoon myself with my bedsheets at night because I felt so alone and needed to mock a "cuddle". But, I worked very, very hard on myself for those three years. I continued through graduate school, landed a full time job, worked overtime to impress my boss who gave me an early raise and eventual promotion, lost 50 pounds, and committed to my "spiritual" lifestyle (albeit relatively atheist at the time... It's quite popular for vegans to identify as such). I eventually met my husband at a bar where I was having an after work drink with my best friend, and we immediately connected over our shared interests and vegan lifestyles. Since then, he's helped me reconnect with my traditional values and open my eyes to how worthy I am outside of what I can accomplish (which I grew an unhealthy emotional attachment to after using it to preoccupy myself with loneliness for the previous three years). Thank you for this post, Abby! It was very relatable.