Why We REALLY Feel Like We Have NOTHING To Wear!
Plus, announcing this month's book for book club 😊
Hello friends! How is everyone doing? How was everyone’s weekend? Share down below - I love hearing what you all have been up to. My weekend was lovely. On Shabbat (Sabbath), we went to our friend’s house for lunch and ended up spending all day there. Then after Shabbat, we went to another friend’s house while my parents watched Mr. Baby and spent even more time socializing! Sunday was spent with my siblings and their children visiting a petting zoo, getting lunch together, and attending a pre-Chanukah carnival. I can’t believe Chanukah is only a couple of weeks away!
Today’s article was inspired by my journey into my closet this morning. As I stood in front of my closet, full of beautiful clothes that I truly love, that age-old adage popped into my head: “I have nothing to wear.” It was a truly silly thing to think, because I have so much to wear, but there it was. The truth is, it’s almost like “Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.”
So I began to wonder: why is it that we feel that way? That we can look into a closet filled with clothing we selected and still feel like we have nothing to wear? I know that, for me, it can often be a feeling of being overwhelmed. I actually have so many options that I would like to wear that I am paralyzed making a choice.
And that’s when it clicked.
Have you ever heard of analysis paralysis?
Wikipedia defines it as, “…an individual or group process where overanalyzing or overthinking a situation can cause forward motion or decision-making to become ‘paralyzed’, meaning that no solution or course of action is decided upon within a natural time frame.” Another similar concept is that of decision fatigue, which is sort of a flip on the above idea, as Wikipedia says it “refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual after a long session of decision making.”
My theory is that when our closets are stuffed to the brim with clothing we love, we get analysis paralysis. Which outfit should I wear? This skirt or that one? This new dress that I love or that old faithful pair of jeans I always feel great in? Should I wear my favorite old sneakers or a comfy pair of boots?
Going through the options again and again can give us analysis paralysis and prevent us from easily making a decision about what to wear. Decision fatigue can present a similar problem. If we have already made ten decisions early in the morning and then show up to our closet fatigued, we won’t have the mental energy to choose an outfit from amongst our clothing. And that’s when we throw up our hands and declare, “I have nothing to wear!”
Okay, so that isn’t entirely groundbreaking. It makes sense that we would get analysis paralysis when trying to decide what to wear each day. But here’s where my confusion really lay. Why is it, when we look out our full closets, do we feel that we should shop for something new? How would that make our decisions easier if we are only adding to our already crowded mental and physical space?
Well, it doesn’t make our decisions easier in the long run, that’s certainly true. But it does actually make our decisions easier in the short run, and here’s why. When we turn away from our own wardrobes and head to the store, we can choose one or two things to come home with us. Not everything in the store is ours to wear - we are figuring out what we like and what looks good on our bodies. But it’s not really fatiguing to shop at the store because we aren’t deciding from among things we already own. We are simply filtering out options.
Then, once we have chosen something that we like and that works for us, we buy it. And the decision about what to wear today or tomorrow has been made. We don’t have to go into our closets filled with options and make a choice. It’s already done. Solved.
Until the next day when those outfits have been worn and once again we enter our closets to see a plethora of options that overwhelm us. You see the conundrum?
So here are a few suggestions I have to solve this annoying problem that plagues so many of us. I’m not a minimalist, so I don’t believe we have to limit our closets to ten pieces and that’s it, or something like that. But I do think that there are some things we can do to make our lives easier while continuing to have variety in our wardrobes!
Winnow out your wardrobe a couple of times each year. I find the process of decluttering my closet really relaxing. It helps me differentiate between the things that I wear constantly and the things that barely make it off the hanger. I like being honest with myself about those purchases that were just impulse buys and those that were staple pieces. Sometimes there’s a piece I’ve worn again and again, but it simply doesn’t work for me at this stage in my life; decluttering allows me to let go of it and give it to someone else to love. By winnowing out your wardrobe, you won’t be as overwhelmed by the plethora of options.
Organize your closet. The next step is to organize your closet. I like to organize my closet by item of clothing (e.g., skirts, dresses, tops, pants, etc.) and color. I find that helps me see what I own and decide what style of clothing I want to wear that day. If things aren’t organized, I simply see a jumble of clothes that really has no meaning to me and gives me no help whatsoever in making a decision about what to wear.
Choose outfits for the week in advance. If you find that making a decision about what to wear each morning is simply too much, choose your outfits for the week in advance! Look at your calendar, see what you have to do each day, and pick clothing that works with your schedule.
Only go shopping when necessary. Don’t simply run to the store every time you think you don’t have anything to wear. Stop that impulse and instead look at what you already own. Of course, if you have something that you’ve been wanting or you are shopping for a specific event, have a great time shopping! But otherwise, don’t buy something to avoid having to make a choice about what you wear that day.
If you start to get overwhelmed, go online and find a look to copy. I have found that if I don’t know what to wear, hopping on Instagram or Pinterest to find a look to inspire my own style helps direct my decisions. It removes the onus of responsibility from my shoulders and allows me to find a look that I like and just copy it. Done and done! And that’s a great way to look stylish without trying very hard.
Do you ever get analysis paralysis looking at your closet? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
ANNOUNCING: This Month’s Book Club Selection
I’m excited to share this month’s book club selection! This month we are reading fiction (we switch up month-to-month), and I’m excited to get into the festive spirit. The book we will be reading is…The Christmas Bookshop! I chose something fun and easy to read as we get into the holiday spirit. I hope it makes us all feel warm and cozy!
This Month’s Movie Club Selection
Our Movie Club discussion was great this past month and I’m so looking forward to the next one! This month we will be watching Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, a fun Marilyn Monroe film I’ve never seen. If you’d like to watch it with your friends, have them join the fun by becoming premium subscribers!
What You Might Have Missed At Classically Abby…
Quote of the Week:
“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox
Classic Style Inspo
Tiered skirts are all the rage right now, and I’m loving it! I used to have such a hard time finding skirts that were long enough for me, and nowadays finding midi-length skirts is a breeze. Check out your local TJ Maxx if you don’t have a tiered skirt and you would like to add one to your closet!
Things I’ve Been Loving: Bissell Vacuum And Steam Mop
I recently purchased this vacuum/mop combo and wow, it’s great. We don’t have any carpeting in our home, so vacuuming followed by mopping took SO much time. Then I found this little contraption which allowed me to do everything in one go and I am such a happy camper. If you have the same situation, this might be a great fit for you - and it’s on sale today!
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I think I've managed to avoid "analysis paralysis" by simply splitting my closet into two categories: "going out in public" and "staying in/working out."
I have a rule that I don't go out in public in pants. I will only go to work, shopping, or to restaurants, or to any other public outing wearing skirts or dresses. Because of this, separating the clothes in my closet that I deem appropriate for going out in public from my leggings and t-shirts that I wear for workouts or for just hanging out at home has made it a lot easier for me to get dressed without really thinking about it! Planning to go out today? Grab the next dress or skirt on the rack and throw some pantyhose on! Planning to stay in and clean, or do a workout later? Grab the next pair of leggings and a comfy sweater and get the day going!
This method (that I fell into by accident, honestly) has virtually eliminated the "what do I wear" decision problems!
(I also organize seasonally because I live in northern Canada and winter is very aggressive here!)