Why Do We Cry At Weddings?
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Why Do We Cry At Weddings?
This weekend, Jacob and I are attending a good friend’s wedding. We have been to many weddings in the three years we have been married, and each one has been lovely and unique in its own way. Black-tie and dressy, summery and casual – no matter the setting, two people committing their lives to one another is a beautiful thing to behold.
I absolutely love weddings. I love wedding gowns and bridesmaid’s dresses. I love the flower arrangements and bouquets. I love seeing families reunite that haven’t seen one another in so long. I love dancing with my husband and a circle of friends.
And no matter what wedding we attend, I always cry at the ceremony. It’s gotten to the point where if I don’t bring a handkerchief with me, I know my makeup will run down my face. And it got me to thinking – why do we cry at weddings? What about weddings elicits such strong emotions that tears literally pour down our faces?
It can’t just be the nostalgia for the early days of our own marriages, because 1) I cried at weddings even before I was married, and 2) I cried at weddings we attended only two months after our own! And even though many people might think we cry because we are seeing a public display of love, in my opinion, that’s simply surface level. Love is important, yes, but marriage is not a display of love – it’s a display of commitment.
Often when we see weddings portrayed in movies and television, the vows show a problematic mentality: “I’ve never felt so loved.” “You make me happy.” “You make me feel special.” It’s a “me, me, me” mentality – a relationship that is built on how happy I am today. Did you make me happy today? Great, our relationship is on the right track. Otherwise, we are at a crossroads. These are displays of selfish love, the kind of love that takes and takes and gives nothing in return.
The love that marriages are built on, the love that I’ve seen at the weddings I’ve attended in real life, usually between couples of faith, is not “me, me, me.” It’s about “us.” It’s about two people promising to share a life that isn’t simply built on the feeling of love, but instead, is built on service to each other. It’s about the future that they are embarking upon, sharing goals, sharing values.
We cry at weddings because we are seeing two people take the irrevocable step forward of building a life as one.
When you attend a wedding between two people who understand the importance of marriage from the start, you see the most selfless act of all – two people promising to put their marriage first, above all else. The act of selflessness is not always easy to see in today’s day and age, so when we do, it brings us to tears.
So this weekend, at my friend’s wedding, I can’t wait to see her promise selfless commitment to the love of her life – and I’ll be packing my hanky in my purse.
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I'm your resident #ConservativeInfluencer, opera singer, fashionista, makeup artist, and wife with a classic take on the modern world. Follow me on YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter to see how! And together, let's be classic.