Why Do "Beach Reads" Try To Make Women Miserable?
These books are driving me up a wall.
MARK YOUR CALENDAR: Book Club Is Next Week!
This month we are reading fiction (we switch up month-to-month) and the book we will be reading is…And Then There Were None! I asked you all this month to help me choose our book club selection, and Agatha Christie was the clear winner.
Our Book Club discussion will take place on Tuesday, June 6th at 8:15 PM EST. Looking forward to seeing you all then!
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Quote of the Week:
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” — Leo Tolstoy
Classic Style Inspo
These outfits are so classic and cute! I love the first yellow dress, the pink dress, and the silver dress. If you’re looking for cute summer inspo, look no further!
Things I’ve Been Loving: Carpet Tape
Jacob and I recently purchased a couple of rugs for our home and to prevent them from sliding, we decided to use this carpet tape instead of getting rug pads (which are oddly expensive)! It works really well and it’s super easy to install. Highly recommend!
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Why Do "Beach Reads" Try To Make Women Miserable?
Hello classic crew! How has your week been going? It was an absolutely PACKED weekend for us for so many reasons, and it was great. And heading into this week, I feel like I’m starting to get back into some semblance of a routine because I have made the executive decision that my son needs to be on a one-nap schedule. We had been down to one nap for a while, but then he started falling asleep about two hours after he woke up…which made things complicated because he absolutely HATED going down for a second nap. So I ultimately decided that this little man needs to wait until about 11:15 AM to go down for his ONLY nap of the day because he just can’t do two naps…and it’s working! I’m very excited that he’s taking to it, and it means mama can actually have some semblance of normalcy to her day, which is exciting!
This past weekend was crazy. First of all, it was the Jewish holiday of Shavuot. Jacob, Mr. Baby, and I stayed at my parents, which was so nice. They generously offered to take Mr. Baby in the morning so we could rest a little bit, which was so nice! I find that my internal clock doesn’t really let me sleep in anymore, but not having to get up and “be on” immediately makes a huge difference.
This weekend was also the Brit Milah (circumcision) of my brother’s new baby, which meant a whole lot of family was in town! We spent the holiday celebrating and being together, and then Sunday was the actual ceremony and it was lovely. Jacob’s and my fifth anniversary was on Saturday, but we decided to celebrate after the circumcision on Sunday and into Memorial Day, as well. How did we celebrate, you might ask? Well, my parents babysat Mr. Baby while we saw the new Fast and Furious movie! It’s a ridiculous series, but one that we find entirely hilarious and enjoyable. We then came home, got Mr. Baby down to sleep, played Hogwarts Legacy, and then watched the very last episode of Succession. It was a lowkey day, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Then, on Monday, we did our favorite outing - we went to the zoo! We LOVE the zoo, and bringing Mr. Baby was a blast. He wandered around the paths and had a grand old time. I am so grateful for the life we’ve built, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my husband.
Which got me to thinking.
I recently mentioned in one of my newsletters that I’ve been reading summer beach reads with my community book club. I’ve now read a couple, and TBH, I got curious. I often like to watch TV shows that go against my political views to challenge myself to see the bias, and I started to crave the same with these books. I wanted to see what the tropes were, what the genre’s goal was, and how these books illustrated relationships, love, and what was important in life.
Y’all - it ain’t good. Why do “beach reads” try to make women miserable?
I’ve now read Book Lovers and Happy Days by Emily Henry and In Five Years and One Italian Summer by Rebecca Serle. These books get so much wrong about love and what’s important, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Now, to be clear, I used to read Chick Lit, or Chick Literature, quite a bit. Authors like Sophie Kinsella and Sarah Strohmeyer made me laugh and talked about love in such a romantic way (or at least, that’s how I remember it). These days, it’s as if love is a concept no one really understands.
First of all, I have never read books that worship at the altar of women like these do. Whether it be friends or mothers, the narrators of these novels describe the women around them in almost romantic ways. Beautiful, stunning, hypnotizing - just absolutely worshipful language that, to be frank, I would never use about my girlfriends. I love my friends, I really do, but I would never describe them that way. Friendship has become the new romance because romance is too prescriptive. Women aren’t incomplete without men! Friends are absolutely enough. Stop pressuring women into needing a spouse.
Ugh. It’s so misleading.
But it gets worse.
The way that love is described in these books is almost inevitably confused with passion. It has nothing to do with a shared vision of the future, a compatibility built on lasting values, or the kind of love that would last longer than the last page of the book. It has everything to do with sex. Wanting the other person and then their sex being absolutely unbelievably incredible and, of course, that’s the sign that they’re meant for each other.
I’m sorry, in no world is good sex an indicator of a great relationship.
A great relationship is an indicator of good sex, actually! Communication in the bedroom, love and care for the other person, selflessness and bonding - that’s what a good sex life is built around, and the best sex happens within marriage because that’s where trust lies. Trust allows a woman to give herself completely, and therefore sex is better.
But not in these books.
In these books, you know that the main characters are perfect for each other because they want to be physical so. Darn. Badly. And once they have had that absolutely amazing sexual experience, you know they’re soulmates.
I mean, that’s a way to make women miserable! Convince them that passion never fades and that sex is the most important indicator of a potential relationship. When, in fact, love is a choice made consistently every day and it changes over time from something hot and intense to something warm and cozy.
On top of this, these books all take place during vacation when people have no responsibilities. The recipe for true happiness, they posit, is “experiencing life to the fullest.” Which, of course, means traveling and eating and drinking and partying and all those things that are fun for about two weeks and then get repetitive without any lasting purpose or meaning. Yes, it’s nice to go on a trip and see new places. Yes, it’s fun to eat at restaurants and try new foods. And yes, it’s even nice to enjoy a glass of wine. But that’s not the stuff life is made of. Life is supposed to be mundane and boring…and wonderful. Going to work or raising a child may not be as glamorous as taking Instagram photos in Positano, but it’s a lot more fulfilling.
Making women dissatisfied with their lives by showing them life through the lens of vacation, love through the lens of sex, and friendship through the lens of romance - it’s ridiculous. Ladies, don’t get taken in by this nonsense. Read it for fun if you’d like and if you think you can keep yourselves removed from it - but take it with a grain of salt. Because that’s what it really is.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
I love romance novels (Emily Henry and Kinsella in particular), and I’ve never met a fellow romance reader who earnestly believes the romances in those books are how actual romance plays out, nor do I believe that myself. People get so frustrated at the left for attacking everything that’s not meant to be taken seriously, and yet more and more I’m seeing the same kind of overly reactionary attacks from people on the right. Chick lit and romance novels aren’t meant to be poignant guides on how to live one’s life—they’re fluffy escapism, and they’re just meant to be fun. Why can’t people enjoy things? 🤷🏻♀️
Growing up I always thought that becoming an adult woman would mean that I would just start to enjoy these "sexy" chick lit style books. It never happened. I tried reading one a year or so ago, and I was disgusted. Why would I need to read about someone's miserable life that can only be fixed with vacation and "fabulous sex with a stranger" when I have an incredible husband and life? They miss the mark on happiness and fulfillment to the point of it being almost comical to read, if I didn't know that these authors, unfortunately, genuinely believe these things.