The TRUTH About Wrinkles
Why do we champion stretchmarks and cellulite but Botox our wrinkles away?
The TRUTH About Wrinkles
About a week ago, I looked in the mirror, horrified. A new wrinkle had popped up in between my eyebrows! I’m 28 years old, so I’m not sure exactly when wrinkles are supposed to appear, but this wrinkle in particular bothered me. The wrinkles that show that I’m a happy person actually bring me joy - the crinkles around my eyes, for instance, or smile lines. They are the marks of how many blessings I’ve enjoyed in my life. I even have a few wrinkles on my forehead that don’t annoy me all that much.
But this wrinkle between my eyebrows really bothered me.
It made me feel like I looked like a worrywart or an angry person even when my face was resting. It made me feel my youth slipping away. I immediately reached for my Frownies, and to be honest, I’ve been using those every night since this dang wrinkle popped up. But this whole situation got me to thinking.
Why is it that social media encourages women to accept their stretchmarks and their cellulite, but praises women for getting rid of their wrinkles through Botox?
Now, I’m all for acceptance of stretchmarks and cellulite. They are a natural part of the human body and are out of our control. They don’t mar the beauty of anyone, and show the history of our skin. But I think the obsession with erasing wrinkles comes down to the modern obsession with youth as the ultimate and highest good.
The fact is, it’s a beautiful thing that we age. It shows that we’ve matured; it shows that we’ve gained wisdom; it shows that God has blessed us with many years on this earth. Youth is only useful in that it’s usually aligned with good health - but the many stages of life are each wonderful and glorious in their own ways. Fighting aging is like fighting the wind - it’s a losing battle from the start, and in even attempting the fight, we end up looking sad and silly.
The cult of youth can even be found in the fear of motherhood. Motherhood draws a clear delineation. Before, I was an independent person with only myself to take care of. Now, I’m a mother to a child I have to be responsible for. And responsibility and youth rarely go hand-in-hand. So instead of treating motherhood as a natural next step in life, many women feel afraid to become mothers because that’s a step away from the youth we have been taught to worship.
Even as I fear growing older and losing my youth, I also know that if I didn’t age, I wouldn’t be able to bear this child growing within me. I wouldn’t be able to teach him lessons that I’ve learned myself. I wouldn’t be able to spend years with my husband that have brought us each so much happiness and such wonderful companionship. The women that I learn from and respect are the women who accept their stage of life instead of fighting it.
Now, does that mean it’s a terrible thing to get Botox or to use Frownies? I don’t think so. I think it’s natural to want to maintain our beauty for as long as possible. Especially with something natural like Frownies, I think it’s nice to try and take care of ourselves and make ourselves feel our best. But the mentality behind it must come from a good place. And that’s a difficult thing to manage.
Are we trying to rid ourselves of wrinkles because of simple vanity? Are we trying to rid ourselves of wrinkles so that no one knows how old we really are? Or are we trying to rid ourselves of wrinkles to maintain that feminine allure? I’ll mention here that my husband is totally anti any sort of Botox, and that has guided and will guide my decision-making in the future. If he finds me beautiful sans any sort of medical wrinkle intervention, that’s really the most important thing.
At the end of the day, wrinkles are a sign of where we’re at in life. If God didn’t want our skin to reflect who we are, he wouldn’t have given us wrinkles or stretchmarks or cellulite. But there is beauty in grace, and accepting each stage of life is graceful. So maybe I’ll try to embrace that little wrinkle between my eyebrows a little more each day.
What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments!
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Love this perspective, Abby! I could not agree with you more. Aging really is a beautiful part of life that we are so privileged to get to experience. I think that the desire to cover up gray hairs is very similar to what you spoke about regarding wrinkles. I have found that so many women who have decided to embrace their grays demonstrate this beautiful sense of wisdom and groundedness & are often so in tune with their natural femininity. While youth is in fact beautiful, I believe aging is as well, albeit in a much different way.
*P.S., Hello everyone, I am new to the substack fam!! I am so excited to get to know some of you!!! :)
I am cackling laughing right now. This post could not be more timely. I actually JUST went to the medical spa (on my lunch TODAY) for my two-week follow up appointment after my Botox injections to see if I liked the results. I consulted with the Nurse Practitioner and got a few more units. I am new to this particular Medical Spa, but I have been getting Botox for years now. I started in my early 30s. I swore in my 20s I would never do it, ever. I remember living at home and I was reading a magazine some random Sunday and remarking to my mother I would never, ever inject Botulism in my face. My father was there as well, looking at his laptop. He did not even look up and said " Lies, all lies. You will get one wrinkle and be the first in line for Botox." I told him he was wrong about me. HE WAS SO RIGHT it is HILARIOUS. My lines between my eyes bothered me, it actually reminded me of the BAD times in my life. I barely have crow's feet at all from smiling. I know a lot of women who get it and are mothers, they just don't get injections while pregnant. I have also had Dermapen micro needling done on my face twice to improve my overall skin appearance. I think it is just a personal choice. My best friend doesn't do it, but I do. I see both sides of it, there are very valid reasons to be opposed to it ( or question why do it at all), and there are valid reasons to get the injections.