The Beauty Of Repentance: Yom Kippur
3 ways to reflect and grow this season
This Month’s Book Club Selection
![Take Back Your Family: From the Tyrants of Burnout, Busyness, Individualism, and the Nuclear Ideal by [Jefferson Bethke]](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!xHXW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd70af52f-64aa-4187-ba69-f5724f9ca06d_328x500.jpeg "Take Back Your Family: From the Tyrants of Burnout, Busyness, Individualism, and the Nuclear Ideal by [Jefferson Bethke]")
This month we are reading nonfiction (we switch up month-to-month) and the book we have chosen is…Take Back Your Family! I took so much from this book, and I’d love to encourage you all to enjoy it alongside me. I look forward to rereading it! Our next meeting will be on October 3rd at 8 PM EST.
What You Might Have Missed At Classically Abby…
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Quote of the Week:
“Lay hold of today’s task and you will not depend so much upon tomorrow’s.” — Seneca
Classic Style Inspo
What is it about an easy T-shirt dress that never goes out of style? I love this one from Amazon because it’s so easy to throw on, and I can wear it before, during and after pregnancy. You can dress it up with a cute pair of wedges and a jean jacket, or you can dress it down with a pair of sneakers and a baseball cap.
Things I’ve Been Loving: Erasable Pens
Does anyone else remember erasable pens? When we were kids, they were AWFUL! They barely erased the words on the page and if they did, they ripped the paper at the same time. These are totally different! They write pretty cleanly and erase beautifully. I love these for my planner because it allows my schedule to change without filling my calendar with x’s and cross-outs.
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The Beauty Of Repentance: Yom Kippur
Happy Monday, lovely classic crew. This newsletter is going out as Jews everywhere are fasting, praying, and turning to God on the holiest day of the year: Yom Kippur. I am writing this on Sunday, before the fast has begun and before we go on radio silence to participate in the holiday. My husband, son, and I went to breakfast this morning and spent all of Sabbath relaxing together, and now my son is sleeping while I get my work done and my husband takes care of some important tasks around the house. Our dishwasher, for example, just officially kicked the bucket and so he is ordering a new one for us. Thank God for paper plates in the meantime!
I hope you checked out my second trimester recap on my channel - I am definitely feeling the third trimester coming at me fast! My sciatica has kicked up in the last few days and I am feeling all the extra weight on my body hurting my joints a bit, but it’s all worth it when I feel those little baby movements inside my belly. It’s funny - even though being pregnant isn’t easy, I actually really enjoy it and it makes me sad to think it will be over soon! Of course, I love getting to meet my little babies - but having them inside my body is such an amazing, Godly experience that I never want to take for granted.
Yom Kippur is an important time for self-reflection and repentance. "Repentance?” you might ask. In today’s day and age, repentance seems like such a heavy word. Like we have to beg or grovel to find forgiveness in our actions. But I don’t think that’s an accurate representation of what the word means - and I think there’s a lot of beauty in learning how to really, truly repent.
When I think of the word “repentance,” I view it as an opportunity to reflect and grow. We can see what actions we did this year that we don’t want to repeat, that we feel badly about, or that we simply think we could improve upon, and change ourselves moving forward. And yes, that requires us to feel a level of regret. In the same way that physical pain in most cases teaches us to stop whatever we are doing, spiritual pain and regret teaches us the same thing. We get a burn on our hand if we touch the stove so that we know to pull our hand away and not damage the skin further; we get a feeling of regret when we act in a way that hurts ourselves or others so we know that we must redirect our future choices.
Repentance allows us to make a sincere effort to change, because without truly repenting we can’t accept the full responsibility for our prior mistakes or deliberate actions. We can’t take any real steps in a different direction if we don’t first acknowledge that what we did is worthy of feeling sorry for. There is beauty in repentance because there is beauty in owning up to our flaws.
So today, I want to share three ways you can repent, reflect, and grow in this season. And I’d like to add — none of this has to be done in a guilt-ridden, anxiety-filled fashion. We can accept our past while moving brightly ahead to our present and future. I used to beat myself up for the things I’d done wrong; now, I know it’s indulgent to spend so much time focusing on what’s already happened rather than making steps towards improving myself as I move forward. The guilt is only helpful initially; beyond that, it’s a hindrance to our self-growth.
Assess your past actions thoroughly. Sit down with a pen and paper. Write down the things you did this year that you wish you had done differently. This can range the gamut from time management goals to being there for friends and family to your relationship to God. You’ll likely want to improve in the big three areas of your life: what you owe yourself, what you owe others, and what you owe God. Break it down into three columns and be really honest. Did you hold yourself responsible to accomplishing your goals this year? If not, write it down. Did you make enough time to take care of yourself so you could be kind to those around you? Did you go out of your way to help your friends even when you weren’t in the mood? Did you read your bible, pray, and lean on God on a regular basis? Write down all the ways you feel you fell short this year. Don’t make it about your guilt — instead, think of it as a fact-finding mission.
Ask why you struggle with certain behaviors so you can address the root of the problem. Look at your list again. Do you spy a pattern in any of the choices you’ve made this year? Perhaps you procrastinate often and put yourself and others in stressful situations. Maybe you do this because the anxiety of planning pushes you to wait till the last moment. Now you can make a plan to improve in this area knowing the real reason you struggle with procrastination. Perhaps you don’t go to church as often as you should. Maybe you do this because you’re afraid of people judging you. Now you can grapple with that fear and either recognize that it’s inaccurate or find a better church for your needs. Finding the underlying reason for your actions can lead you to make better choices in the future instead of sticking a band-aid on a deeper wound.
Make actionable goals for how you’d like to improve. The last step of the repentance process is to actually change your behavior moving forward. This requires you to make actionable goals rather than vague ones. Instead of saying, “I’m going to go to church more often,” for example, you might say, “I’m going to make cookies for the people at church on Saturday so I can bring them on Sunday morning.” That way, you’ve created a system wherein you have given yourself a commitment that is actionable and that forces you to follow through. Another example might be if you want to be kinder to your spouse when you’re feeling tired. Instead of saying, “I’m going to be nicer,” you might say, “I’m going to go to bed fifteen minutes earlier each night so that I have more energy at the end of the day.” Or even, “When I feel like I want to lash out, instead I’m going to give my husband a hug or squeeze his hand.” Physical touch can be a stress reliever, so turning a tension-filled moment into a love-filled one is a wonderful alternative. By asking yourself to take real actions, you can improve in small ways that eventually turn into big ways.
What do you all think? Share your thoughts down below! And if you celebrate, have a meaningful Yom Kippur!
I love the idea of just a quick hug to make a difficult moment brighter. That's a great actionable goal!