Laidback Or Just A Mess? Today’s Homemaking Thoughts
Plus, book club is TOMORROW!
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Quote of the Week:
“Homemaking is a passion you can pass on from generation to generation.” — Elizabeth George
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I am obsessed with these long jean shorts that my friend Sarah Therese is wearing! They are so cute and modest. I literally almost went online to purchase myself a pair before remembering I’m 6 months pregnant and nowhere near able to being able to fit into something like these. But I totally would wear them if I could!
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I'm a wife, mama, opera singer, entrepreneur, YouTuber, and your guide to becoming the classic woman you've always wanted to be! Follow me on YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter to see how! And together, let's be classic.
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Laidback Or Just A Mess? Today’s Homemaking Thoughts
Hello classic crew! How are you all doing today? I hope you’re feeling wonderful about where you’re at and what you’re up to. This past weekend was lovely. On Sabbath, we had over two couples we wanted to get to know better and had a great time. I made a meal that I called “traveling around the world,” which included Mexican taco salad, Italian pasta with “sausage” (AKA spiced ground beef) and broccoli rabe, and Indian “butter” chicken (AKA using dairy-free substitutes). Does anyone else feel ridiculously proud when people enjoy their food? I know that I do!
The children all got in the pool to play, and I got in the kiddie pool with Mr. Baby while the adults sat around and chatted. By the way, I’ve finally decided on a new online name for Mr. Baby! It took some thinking, but his new pseudonym will now be…Little Man! From here on out, if you see me refer to Little Man, that’s my oldest son.
On Sunday, we started off the day by heading to our local gym. My husband currently has a membership, but I haven’t gone because I didn’t know if Little Man would enjoy the nursery there. The gym employs an older woman who watches the children and has quite a few toys for them to play with, but I was definitely nervous to see how he would do. It turns out - he did great! He enjoyed himself immensely, until I made the silly mistake of catching his eye when I was peering through the window to make sure he was still doing okay. That’s when he started crying. But I learned that I could actually sign up for a gym membership and go to the gym more regularly while he plays happily in a nearby room. SUCCESS!
When Little Man went down for his nap, Jacob and I played a videogame together which was quite a bit of fun, and then he had to do some work. So I got to spend some quality time with my parents which was really nice. My mother and I went to the store to buy some snacks for Little Man since I take him out and about almost every day now, and then my father met us to go for a walk over some amazing marshes near us. We finished off the day with my husband playing boardgames with his friends and my parents watching a movie with me. It was an unusual day since Jacob doesn’t normally work on weekends, but it was really nice to get to spend some time with my parents one-on-one.
Over Sabbath, I had a realization after we hosted our friends that I wanted to share with you all. While we were all the table, Little Man was eating some avocado and crackers. We don’t mind if he gets messy while he eats, so it was all over his highchair, his face, and his hair. Both the couples who were with us were a little bit older and had older children and were pleasantly surprised that we were so laidback with our first child.
The truth is, I feel really appreciative when people recognize how “chill” we are about parenting. Often with your first, you’re more high-strung and stressed, worried about every little thing. But whether it’s because I’ve done enough research on my own, watched my siblings raise their children, or it’s simply my personality, I’ve often tried to be relaxed about my parenting style because I don’t think it’s healthy to drive my child, my husband, or myself crazy.
But all of this comes with balance.
I try to treat my relationship to parenting and homemaking as a double-pan balance scale - what you would envision Justice holding in her hand. If I’m laidback when it comes to my son going through my pantry or covering himself in avocado, I am more observant when it comes to keeping my house tidy and my laundry washed and folded. If I’m relaxed about my son learning to climb and falling down sometimes, I am more strict about him throwing toys or yelling “mine” rather than trying to use his words (and while he can’t really communicate effectively yet, I still try to work on this important concept). If I am “chill” about my son getting food on my clothes and taking his nap at the same exact time every day, I am more insistent on him treating other children nicely and learning how to share.
Essentially, I think to be a laidback mom, you should also aim to be sufficiently organized and to keep a well-managed home. For example, I cleaned my home thoroughly before hosting our guests. If my guests had entered a home cluttered and filled with mess and dirt, if I had let my son cover himself in guacamole it would not come as a surprise. It would be part and parcel of what could be perceived as a chaotic household rather than a well-balanced one.
In my view, it’s important to be the kind of homemaker that does prioritize balance. If I’m going to be relaxed about my son getting food on his face and clothes, I don’t want that to be reflected in the fact that my house is a mess. If I’m going to be laidback about my son climbing on my furniture, I don’t want that to be reflected at someone else’s home when they may not feel comfortable with a toddler climbing on their couch. Being laidback and relaxed cannot be a blanket statement - it fits in with some practices within a home, and is balanced with more structure in others.
The beauty of homemaking is the flexibility within it. You don’t need to follow one philosophy with such stringency that you are a walking monolith, an ideologue who can’t engage with multiple perspectives at once. Instead, you can take what works for you in some places, incorporate it, and look somewhere else once it has reached its logical limit. I love Montessori-style parenting, for example, but sometimes when the clock has hit its limit, I can’t have my son in the kitchen helping me because I practically need to get done what needs to get done. I love being a relaxed mom - but that doesn’t mean that there’s no structure within my household and cleanliness is overlooked.
What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
Mark Your Calendar: Book Club Is TOMORROW!
Join us tomorrow (8/28/23) for a Google Meet book club discussion on “A Gentleman in Moscow.” I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!
I’m so excited to see you all and chat with you LIVE. To join tomorrow’s book club, you must use this EXCLUSIVE link! If you’re having trouble getting into the meeting, leave a comment on this post - I’ll have it open during the call so that I can see your messages if there’s a problem. Can’t wait to see you there!
Totally agree about chill parenting. Not stressing about naps, wake windows, tummy time, schedules ect. has made this first year of parenting SO enjoyable.
Everything in life is about balance, but keeping a house and raising a family is the most important balancing act a woman can perform!