It's Time To STOP Trying To Fulfill Your Potential
Welcome to this week's newsletter!
This Month’s Book Club Selection
I’m excited to share this month’s book club selection! This month we are reading nonfiction (we switch up month-to-month) and the book we will be reading is…Stolen Youth! I am friends with both authors, Bethany and Karol, and one or both should be able to join us for our next book club discussion to answer YOUR questions! I can’t wait to discuss it with you all!
I’m currently waiting to hear back from the authors about their schedules, so I will be sharing the date of our next book club very soon. Keep an eye out!
What You Might Have Missed At Classically Abby…
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Quote of the Week:
“I believe that the greatest gift you can give your family and the world is a healthy you.” – Joyce Meyer
Classic Style Inspo
Have you ever heard of toile? It’s a delicate blue and white print that looks hand-sketched, and it is just so beautiful! I love it on dishes, clothing, wallpaper - and it adds the perfect feminine touch to your home or your outfit.
Things I’ve Been Loving: Hair Ties
I love these hair ties because they’re so soft on my hair! They grip my ponytail perfectly, but they don’t pull out my hair when they’re removed. And they are so inexpensive!
Welcome to Classically Abby!
I'm a wife, mama, opera singer, entrepreneur, YouTuber, and your guide to becoming the classic woman you've always wanted to be! Follow me on YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter to see how! And together, let's be classic.
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It’s Time To STOP Trying To Fulfill Your Potential
Hello my lovely friends! How is everyone doing? I know that some of you celebrated Easter this past Sunday, some of you are still in the midst of celebrating Passover, and still more of you are going to be celebrating Easter next week! It’s such a beautiful time for those of us who are religious and I love hearing how you all are celebrating in our group chat! Make sure to check it out here if you want to be a part of the discussion:
I have been spending Passover with my family at a program, which is such a beautiful gift. The first two nights of Passover we have two seders, which is a discussion of the exodus from Egypt. We are supposed to feel like we are going through the exodus ourselves! The first seder was for the children and it was so fun for them. They asked a ton of questions and really enjoyed the section on the plagues, where we surprised them with toys and games for each plague. The second seder was for the adults, and at that one we really got to delve into the story and the text. One of the things I love about the holiday of Passover is that we have so many days of Yom Tov, which means we don’t use our phones or electricity. It really forces us to spend directed time together without any interruptions, and that’s amazing.
I actually gave a couple of speeches at the program we are attending, and one of the speeches was called, “Why Being A Girl Boss Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be.” One part of my speech focused on the idea of “fulfilling your potential,” which might just be my least favorite phrase in the English language.
We live in a day and age where “fulfilling your potential” is inextricably linked to succeeding in your career. It’s as if the only way to prove that you are worthy, to prove that you’re smart, to prove that you have accomplished something or made something of yourself, is to reach the pinnacle of your ambition. But why does potential have anything to do with what you accomplish in the workplace?
The idea of “fulfilling your potential” is so harmful to women.
The real question is: what does potential really mean? Your potential is who you can become. Your potential is about the possibility of you can be. Being classic is about always working to be your best self - and, in truth, that is fulfilling your potential! For me, my potential will be fulfilled far more by becoming the best wife, mother, and woman that I can be than it would by becoming the CEO of a huge business. Who you can be is so much more holistic than your work success. It’s about improving yourself from the inside out. If you only focus on career ambition, you may have fulfilled your potential in the modern sense, but it’s often at the cost of everything else. And why would you want to become someone depressed and lonely but successful careerwise?
Of course, there’s another issue with linking your potential to your career. When someone doesn’t succeed as far as she had hoped, doesn’t get to the point that would make her feel as though she had fulfilled her potential - she can feel like a failure. But the truth is, most people have jobs, not careers. Most people are looking for a way to support their families and themselves. And that is perfectly okay! Tying our self-worth to what we accomplish rather than the relationships we develop with others is a dangerous game. It can make you - at the core - feel like you are a failure. And there’s nothing less true.
You would be far more of a failure if you were a bad person, a bad friend, or a bad mother but a partner at a law firm, than you would be if you were working a job to pay the bills but you were a loving member of your family or community. The best thing you can do with your life is to shore up your relationships and improve yourself. Fulfill your potential the way that God intended - by becoming the best version of YOU.
What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!
I love it when people tell me I'm not fulfilling my potential or ask me how I'm going to live up to my potential as a housewife/eventual SAHM. I always answer "this is how I achieve my true potential, by being an incredible wife, mother, and woman." They get so mad and it makes me happy to know that I've demolished another feminist's rhetoric
Thanks for this. Not to tell my life story, but ... back in 2015 I landed my dream job. I felt on top of the world and had so much confidence. However the position was a temporary contract job with no possibility for an extension. I was under the impression that the job was just the beginning of an epic career. Well ... No position I’ve had since has come close to being as good.
Last month I was unexpectedly laid off and felt awful for a few days. I wondered if I “peaked” with my 2015 job.
Then ... last week I ended up having to go to the ER and have emergency surgery. I’m fine now, but honestly the hospital stay was a bit of a wake up call. Do your coworkers take care of you when you’re sick? No! (Generally). My family, boyfriend, and friends were there for me.
It reminded me to realign myself with my values. I’m more certain than ever now that I want a family of my own ... and that’s something I’ll be able to contribute more meaningfully to.
Thanks for reading my novel LOL.