EXCLUSIVE: "Sexual Liberation" Isn't The Godsend Feminists Think It Is.
Louise Perry shares why she wrote "The Case Against The Sexual Revolution"
“Sexual Liberation” Isn't The Godsend Feminists Think It Is.
We recently read “The Case Against the Sexual Revolution” for the Classically Abby book club. In it, Louise Perry lays out her argument that “the amoral libertinism and callous disenchantment of liberal feminism and our contemporary hypersexualized culture represent more loss than gain.” I reached out to Louise and asked if she would write something exclusive for this newsletter, as well as come on my podcast. She graciously agreed to both.
You don’t want to go “back to the 1950s”, do you? That’s the phrase that lies in wait for anyone who thinks of questioning our new sexual culture. It’s a phrase that’s been deployed against me many times since my book The Case Against the Sexual Revolution was first published. There are two options, it seems: the 1950s (bad), or the 2020s (on the whole, good).
There are no shortage of unpleasant quotes to be dredged up from housewife manuals of the 1950s. In 2016, for instance, an extract from a 1950s Home Economics book offering “tips to look after your husband” went viral on social media. The housewife was advised that when her husband got home from work she should have dinner on the table, her apron off, a ribbon in her hair, and that she should always make sure to let her husband “talk first.”
How reactionary, we think now, how stupid and backwards! Ok, fine. But my contention is that women are still expected to please men and to make it look effortless. But while the 1950s ‘angel of the house’ hid her apron, the modern ‘angel of the bedroom’ hides her pubic hair. We have smoothly transitioned from one form of feminine subservience to another, but we pretend that this one is liberation.
In our newly ‘liberated’ sexual culture, adolescents are watching violent porn beamed into their smartphones by multi-billion dollar global corporations, and then going out into the world and enacting these sadistic fantasies on each other. The porn generation report that spitting, gagging, and choking are the new normal during sex. In just twenty years, the proportion of young men who suffer from erectile dysfunction has risen from one in fifty to one in three as porn has deadened their responses to real people.
We are supposed to believe that a new culture of no-string sex offers women the opportunity to revel in their sexual autonomy, but the survey data tells a different story. Unlike men, the vast majority of heterosexual women do not orgasm during one night stands. In fact, they are more likely to feel pain than pleasure. And most experience a sharp dip in self esteem afterwards, suspecting — correctly, if we go by counterpart surveys with men — that they have been used for sex by partners who do not respect them.
The fleeting thrill of feeling sexually desirable does not make for lasting happiness, and young women mostly say that they would prefer a committed relationship to a hook up, but that this choice is not available to them, since the good looking and high status men who are able to attract lots of partners are (surprise, surprise) satisfied with the status quo.
Some feminists argue that all of this unhappiness is a consequence of the fact that we are not yet liberated enough – that the process of liberation has only just begun, and that we ought to redouble our efforts to tear down the few sexual norms that have survived from the era before the sexual revolution.
I disagree. I think that what we are witnessing is the inevitable consequence of liberation hurled at a society in denial about the differences between men and women. There is an inherent asymmetry between the sexes that will never be overcome, despite the existence of modern contraception that offers a brittle illusion of sameness. Rather than try to wish that asymmetry away, I argue in The Case Against the Sexual Revolution that the task for practically minded feminists must be to find a way of negotiating those differences: encouraging the best instincts in men and women, and discouraging the worst. My book is an attempt to launch that project.
NEW PODCAST EPISODE: Hyper-Femininity And Hyper-Masculinity
The newest episode of Classically Ever After is now LIVE! In it, Jacob and I discuss hyper-femininity vs. hyper-masculinity through the lens of Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Fight Club. We got so into discussing hyper-femininity that we realized we needed to divide this topic into two episodes, so this is part one! And stay tuned till the end of today’s episode to hear our antonym of the week: stuff we like, stuff we hate!
ANNOUNCING: This Month's A.V. Club Selection
Our A.V. Club discussion was great this past month and I’m so looking forward to the next one! This month we will be watching Mona Lisa Smile, a movie that has a very clear agenda and will provide ample room for discussion from a classic and conservative point of view. If you’d like to watch it with your friends, have them join the fun by becoming premium subscribers!
ANNOUNCING: This Month’s Book Club Selection!
I’m excited to share this month’s book club selection! This month we are reading fiction (we switch up month-to-month) and the book we will be reading is…Treasure Island! After last week’s book club, I asked you all what you would be interested in reading and you said you wanted to read an adventure novel! I can’t wait to discuss it with you all.
What’s New On Classically Abby…
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I just want to understand what’s so wrong with pleasing your husband. Is cooking and cleaning for him oppressive all of a sudden? How should I feel about this woman?