7 Skills Women (And Men!) Need To Know Before Becoming Adults
Plus: LIVESTREAM Q&A!
It’s disappointing that high schools today teach calculus to their students but don’t teach them basic life skills, isn’t it? The idea that we all know what SOH-CAH-TOA is but have no idea how to even approach our taxes is kind of ridiculous. I have always regretted that I didn’t have a home economics class to teach me about things I would need to know once I reached adulthood - and now, I find myself learning on the fly.
I remember the first time I had to file my taxes, I was totally lost. The number of forms I had to fill out, the number of receipts I had to go through, the dates I had to have everything in by - it was enough to drive you crazy. And the fact that you could get in trouble if you did any of it wrong didn’t help either! The idea of the IRS showing up on your doorstep is enough to scare anyone into learning taxes quickly.
I count myself lucky that my mother taught me a number of life skills before I entered the real world, but there are still things I had to teach myself - and still things I’m learning today as I encounter new difficulties. It’s not easy to find the time as an adult to learn new skills, and sometimes it can feel easier to shrug it off and leave the project for someone else. But arming ourselves with knowledge and know-how is never a bad thing, and it’s important to be self-sufficient when we can! So today I wanted to share with you 7 things everyone should know before entering adulthood - and how to take the first step to learn.
Deep Cleaning. I’ll be honest - I did not learn how to deep clean from my mother. I think it was mostly out of the kindness of my parents’ hearts that they took care of the cleaning and let us kids be kids, but the idea of cleaning your baseboards never even occurred to me until I was in my 20s and I overheard my married friends talking about it!
Deep cleaning is not something that comes naturally to me. I have an urge to keep the house clean, sure, but I don’t really know where to start. I wish I’d learned how to go around the house and clean as I go, or to focus on small areas rather than leaving everything for one day of the week. I had to teach myself all of these tricks as I got married. And I have to tell you - I always laughed at the idea that a woman might want a mop for her birthday but I am DYING for a steam mop this year!
Part of being an adult is respecting your home and your belongings. One way of doing this is keeping your house clean of dust, dirt, and clutter. Learning how to mop, vacuum, wipe the countertops, etc. and do so with good time-management is a skill that cannot be replaced. And boy do you feel good when the house is clean! I recommend looking into the Fly Lady cleaning method if you feel overwhelmed - I know that I did when I first started (and sometimes I still do!).
Cooking 5 Simple Meals. Now, this one I can definitely thank my mother for! My mom has a general rule - if a recipe has more than 2 or 3 steps, she either won’t make it or she’ll simplify it down. That might sound crazy, but when you are working a full-time job and have four kids like my mother did, it’s pretty effective!
My mother’s philosophy means that I know a TON of easy and quick meals to make for me and Jacob on those nights when we don’t have the time or the energy to make a complicated dish. I have a number of easy recipes up my sleeve that we both enjoy and that take no time at all.
Teaching yourself just a few simple recipes takes the stress out of cooking. If you want to make something fancier, then great! Pull out a cookbook and set to it. But if you are under the gun, having a few easy, go-to favorites is such a gamechanger and will allow you to save money cooking at home rather than ordering in whenever you run out of ideas.
Budgeting. Learning how to spend your money in the most effective way is invaluable as an adult. I think a lot of people spend their money and never look at their credit card bills for fear of what they might say. But if you have an idea of your budget, even a rough one, then your credit card bill won’t be some big unknown.
When Jacob and I first got married, I had a very strict budget for us. I created an excel spreadsheet where I broke down the monthly bills and showed how much we could afford to spend on fun activities or items we each wanted. After a few months of that (which wasn’t the most fun since I was rather strict!), we had gotten into the swing of things and no longer needed the spreadsheet. Nowadays we have a good feel for what we can spend and where, and we always keep a little saved for those rainy day emergencies you don’t expect.
Break down your spending by needs, wants, and regular payments. Once you do that, you can put any extra money in savings!
Doing Taxes. This is SO important and we never learn how to do it until we are right in the thick of it! I absolutely hate tax season and it stresses me out every spring, but I suppose that’s just part of being an adult. I still don’t know everything I should, but with time I know it will get easier.
In order to feel more confident about your taxes, read up on the topic and make sure you keep track of all of the documents that you need. If you need help to make sure that your taxes get done correctly, that’s totally fine! Jacob and I use an accountant, but again, there are some basics that everyone should know before simply showing up without any knowledge whatsoever.
Understanding Insurance. Ugh, another topic that is confusing from top to bottom! Understanding how insurance works is tough, but it’s worth it. Once you understand a few simple basics, like how to ask specific questions (“Are you an in-network provider for my insurance?”) and how your deductible works, then you can save yourself some money by not making silly mistakes. And always remember: you can call your insurance provider if things don’t seem to add up on a bill from a doctor’s office!
Sewing On A Button. I love this one. It seems simple, but I think it’s important. Everyone should know how to wield a needle and thread! Even if it’s just for simple fixes, knowing how to sew on a button or fix a tear in a seam is a lovely skill to have and one that can save you stress. If something you love tears, you don’t have to throw it out - with a little bit of effort, you can fix it yourself!
My grandmother taught me to sew. We would make patterns together, or design quilts, or add a bit of fabric to a skirt that was just too short. I can still sew, but I never quite got the hang of tailoring my clothing, so often my dresses would be a bit big on me. I’d love to learn how to tailor my own clothing because then I’d have so much more flexibility!
But even having basic skills in sewing is a great bit of knowledge to have. And being able to sew on a button when it falls off is an important part of being self-sufficient!
Organizing Your Stuff. The last thing on today’s list is learning how to organize your things. I think having a system of organization, even if it’s vague rather than completely labeled, is so important to having a well-functioning household.
When you look into your closet and you see piles of shoes or belts all over the place, it just makes you feel chaotic. But if your clothing is organized by color or season, and your shoes all have their place, and you have a basket for your belts - you will know where everything is and you can get exactly what you want when you want it.
The same is true for your home. If you organize your home well, you will know where things are and have easy access to them. Plus, being organized is also about getting rid of things you don’t need - so you won’t find your home overly cluttered.
Being an adult is wonderful, but it comes with its responsibilities. If you, like me, didn’t have the opportunity to learn all the skills you had hoped to before entering the real world, don’t worry! It’s all a process. And this list is a great place to start!
Let me know down below - what are some basic life skills you wish you knew before becoming an adult? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Ask Me And My HUSBAND Your Questions!
This Thursday I’ll be doing my monthly livestream Q&A on YouTube - but I’ll only be answering questions from YOU, my premium subscribers who have access to my exclusive content here on Substack.
If you have any questions for me or my husband, feel free to ask in the comments below! He’s got such an interesting perspective and knows so much about so many subjects. And if you have any more personal questions that you would like to keep anonymous, send them to my email at askclassicallyabby@gmail.com.
Content Pitch Contest!
As a premium subscriber of the Classically Abby Substack newsletter, you get to pitch me YOUR ideas for videos I should make! Each month, I’ll choose one idea from you all to actually RECORD - and I’ll thank you personally for the suggestion. Just leave the name you’d like to be called at the end of your content pitch! Last month, Melissa Amy, one my premium Substack subscribers, asked to see a video about Kate Middleton - that was a great idea, so I put one together.
If you would like to suggest a video but remain anonymous, feel free to email me at askclassicallyabby@gmail.com. I can’t wait to hear what you all would like to see!
Quote of the Week:
“The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.” - Benjamin Mays
Classic Style Inspo
I know it’s not fall…but I’m already feeling the fall spirit! I know that I used to be a summer girl through and through, but recently I’ve found that fall has brought me more joy than summer. So if you, like me, are wishing for autumn even though it is barely August, here’s a good style tip: find light fabrics in fall colors. This outfit is actually cool enough to wear on a summer’s day - but it’s definitely autumnal in its color palette!
Things I’ve Been Loving: Sodastream
Jacob and I have had a sodastream for about a year now and we love it! I absolutely hate when people open a can of seltzer and then only drink it half way. It just seems like a waste! With the sodastream, you carbonate tap water in the bottle, so it’s less wasteful. If you like seltzer as much as we do, I highly recommend the sodastream!
Welcome to Classically Abby!
I'm your resident #ConservativeInfluencer, cultural commentator, opera singer, fashionista, makeup artist, and wife with a classic take on the modern world. Follow me on YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter to see how! And together, let's be classic.
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