4 Lessons I Learned On My 4th Anniversary!
Hello friends! I hope you had a lovely long weekend and took a moment to remember Memorial Day and the ultimate sacrifice of the soldiers who gave their lives for our freedom. My husbandโs father came to visit us for a few days, so we were lucky enough to spend some time with him! Itโs been fun taking our son out and about, but I think heโs appreciating a day at home after a few days out of his routine.
This past Friday, May 27th, my husband and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary and our fifth dating anniversary! We actually got married one day under a year from the day we started dating, so May 27th and 28th are both special to us and make for a very special weekend. Plus, the fact that it is Memorial Day weekend means that we can usually do something nice to celebrate!
Every year on our anniversary, I post a video or write an article about the lessons Iโve learned so far in our marriage. Iโm so proud of our relationship and how strong it is. I never doubt, not even for a moment, that our marriage will stand the test of time - and I love Jacob now more than ever. Our classic mindset and traditional values have informed our lifelong commitment. So today, I want to share four lessons I learned on our fourth anniversary!
Learn To Admit When Youโre Wrong. It can be so hard to admit when youโre wrong. You know when youโre arguing with someone and you realize halfway through the disagreement that you actually are guilty of something? That is one of the hardest things to admit. It all comes down to pride - itโs embarrassing to say that you made a mistake, that you were in the wrong, that you need to say youโre sorry. But one of the best things Jacob and I have done in our relationship is address this very thing. Sometimes, when itโs difficult for either one of us to actually admit fault, we will say, โI donโt want to admit youโre right because itโs making me feel awkward and embarrassed in the pit of my stomach, but you are right. I messed up.โ Because we have both felt that very thing, we can be sympathetic toward the other when we express this feeling out loud. Instead of saying, โHa ha, got you!โ We respond with, โIt does stink to recognize that you made a mistake, and it takes a lot to say it. So thank you for saying it!โ This small action has made such a huge difference to the way we disagree with each other and the resolutions to those disagreements are so sweet. Try it yourself and see how it improves your relationship!
Time Heals So Many Problems. When you first get married, the huge lifelong commitment can be hard to comprehend. โIโm with this person FOREVER?โ โIโm going to have to deal with (X) FOREVER?โ โ(X) is NEVER going to change?โ Four years down the line, I can say with confidence that things settle and change and get easier over time. Itโs so easy to think that everything will always stay the same and the things that bother you now will bother you forever. But as long as you both work at your relationship and take care of your marriage with intention, those things that seem so serious early on really do work out. I have found that with time, my greatest concerns have simply become less and less important.
The Only Way To Grow Is To Grow Together. Something Jacob and I constantly are in awe of is how much each of us has changed, but as a team. Neither one of us pulled the other to follow in our footsteps, dragging the other along to where we want to be. Instead, through our conversations, our values, and our intentions, we have arrived at a new place that we carved out together. I didnโt make Jacob more religious and Jacob didnโt make me more traditional - we simply discussed these ideas, shared our thoughts, and came to these conclusions naturally because we agreed upon them. If one person is trying to change the other, itโs not a recipe for growth - itโs a recipe for resentment. But when the two of you have the same vision and worldview, you will grow together without even realizing it.
Remember The Love Behind Your Spouseโs Actions. A couple of weeks ago, Jacob and I had a miscommunication. We had discussed spending some time together that evening, and even though I had been looking forward to it, I also wanted to take care of some household chores. By the time I was done after putting the baby to sleep, it was 10 oโclock and we only had half an hour to spend together before I needed to go to bed. When Jacob expressed his disappointment, at first I was frustrated. โI was doing chores! I wanted to get things done and keep the house clean - and youโre upset at me?โ were the first thoughts that ran through my head. Then I realized - how nice is it that my husband wants to spend time with me? Thatโs a really lovely thing! I always dreamed of finding a man who wanted to spend time with me more than doing anything else - and here I was, resenting him for that very thing! Itโs so important to try and read the love behind your spouse's actions. Everything is so much more pleasant when you do so!
So those are my four lessons this year. Share your thoughts in the comments and if you have any pieces of marriage advice, drop them down below too!
ANNOUNCING: This Month's Book Club Selection!
Iโm excited to share this monthโs book club selection! This month we are reading fiction (we switch up month-to-month), and I canโt wait. The book we will be reading isโฆThe Secret of Santa Vittoria! My father has been recommending this book to me FOR YEARS, so I really canโt wait to dig into it. Iโm looking forward to discussing it with you all!
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